When a new mother is moving into motherhood, they are provided with many resources, offered support and if needed help.
What happens when our babies slowly stop being babies and turn into children? Is it just assumed we all know instinctively how to parent children healthily...
We all want to instill discipline in children so they become good additions to society, but going about it in an overbearing manner may be just as hard on children as no parenting at all.
The Parent/Child Relationship...
This one is at the top of the list because all of the others are dependent upon it. Basically, if you have not established a solid attachment between you and your child that is characterized primarily by positive regard (on your part), you do not have the foundation necessary from which to successfully manage behavior. Children do what their parents say primarily because they care what their parents think of them or how they feel about them.
Spending Time with them....
This one goes along with the one above. You must spend time with your child on a regular basis that is not centered around behavioral problems, and this time should be used for play, conversation, and relationship-building activities. The more loved and understood your child feels by you, the easier it will be to manage his or her behavior.
Developmental Knowledge....
Be sure that you know what your child is actually capable of doing depending on his or her age. Very often parents personalize their children's misbehavior as something they are "doing on purpose." Sometimes this is true, but more often the behavior is quite natural for the developmental age. Knowing this helps you look at behavior management more
objectively and less
reactively.
Clear Rules...
This may seem like a given, but it is very easy to find yourself in the position of waffling on rules you have set. Don't lump a lot of rules together, especially for younger children. Make one very clear statement. The younger the child is, the more exact the wording must be.
Positive Reinforcement...
Use positive reinforcement whenever possible. This is most helpful when a child successfully behaves in the way you have prescribed. Be careful, however, not to use material inducements for good behavior (such as buying new toys, etc.). Reinforcements should be centered around feelings of self-esteem, accomplishment, and cooperation. Do something with your child such as play a game, go to the park, or simply give verbal praise and appreciation.
Remembering we are raising the next generation, they will make up the population of society...What kind of environment do we hope they will inhabit, influence and succeed in? Because its us who mold the world around us in by the choices we make.
